Karma

I am really feeling good right now about a good deed I did. Normally, I would keep it to myself, because tooting one's horn is tacky. However, I think it would make a good post and I hope that it inspires at least one person to "Pay it Forward".

I stopped at a gas station to buy a pack of gum. The gum cost a buck and change, and I paid with a fiver. The teenager tried to hand me back a ten, a five, and 3 one's with coinage, as if I paid with a twenty. I did not accept the change; I pointed out that I paid with a five, which was laid sideways across his drawer like all cashiers are taught (which should help them avoid this mistake.) He said something like, "Oh yeah, you did!" He then proceeded to remove the ten and hand out to me the five and 3 ones. I accepted the change, took my share, and handed the five back to him saying, "You might want this one too." He repeated his "Oh yeah," without looking very embarrassed. I left with a pack of gum and a good feeling.

There was a time when I would have taken the extra $15 nonchalantly, spent it on myself later, and not had a twinge of guilt. I would have rationalized that the Gas Corporation owed me after all the times they have raised the price of gas, and it was this kid's own fault for not being able to count. That was even when I was going to a church regularly. Today, adrift in the spiritual sea without a decided religious or moral label, I find myself with a stronger character. Leaving the gas station made me realize that I, like Darth Vader, still had some good in me.

While enjoying the warm, fuzzy feeling I started to think about Karma. I believe in it. I don't believe in the Buddhist, Hindu, Shinto, Janeist, or Christian form of karma; I believe in my own brand. I am sure that it can't be scientifically proven, and I do not believe that any spiritual force is responsible for it. I simply think it is like a law of physics. It is something I have faith in. It is something I want to believe in, and that is what makes it true for me.

I like the idea of Karma. I like the idea that if I do something good, my good deed will be returned to me eventually. I like the idea that people who do bad things eventually get bad things returned to them. I hope that truckdriver who was driving in the left lane at 7 mph under the speed-limit today gets his bad deed returned to him swiftly.

So I have $15 worth of karma hanging out there. And I let a few people in front of me on the way home, so that helps. How much karma do I get for hugging my kids? Is there a karmic value for putting the toilet seat down, or for washing a dish that I did not dirty?

On the flip-side, something I don't like to think about is when all my bad karma is going to revisit me. If every bad deed I have ever done is going to return to me, then I am going to have hell to pay--literally. Maybe some of the good ones cancel out the bad? Is the Pope still offering indulgences?

If the good deed does not come back to me, then my capitalist mind asks, "Why do good deeds for free? What is in it for me?" Of course, I tell myself that it may take years to be repaid, and I have plenty of bad deeds to be repaid for. In any case, I think it is a better way to live my life. If more people thought about their actions having a karmic effect on their future, I am sure that they would adhere more closely to the golden rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.)

You reap what you sow; what you send out will come back. Remember that.

There, I went a whole post without mentioning ADD, even though I wondered if the cashier suffered from it to have screwed up my change twice in the space of 5 seconds.