Be Thankful and Attract your Thoughts

Two books have seized my imagination and thought-life lately. One is "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and the other is "Thank You Power" by Deborah Norville. I do not know why either book caught my eye while I browsed but they did, on separate occasions. I did not buy either book when I first saw them. I went home, and found that I couldn't get them out of my mind. Something was telling me to buy these books. The funny thing is, I discovered them and purchased them separately, and had no idea that they went together so well.

Now let me add a disclaimer to this website. I am an engineer. I am a devoted proponent of science and a major skeptic. I do not believe in ghosts, Aliens, UFO's, Faith Healers, or any other subject that is commonly considered nonsense in our western, American culture. However, there are times when I cannot explain a process but believe in it anyhow. These two books (especially "The Secret") may come off as new-age, mythological, psychobabble. However, if you just seize on the fundamental principle that focusing your thoughts has a powerful impact on results you will see the logical basis. Sometimes science is unable to explain how this works, but the anecdotal evidence is overwhelming that a person's thoughts can often influence the outcome of a situation. It is an accepted scientific fact that prayer has a beneficial affect on medical results, even though God and Spirit of not accepted facts.

In a nutshell, here is why I believe that the law of Attraction and the Science of Gratitude are important: they change the way you think for the better if you embrace them. If you believe in the Law of Attraction and use the power of your mind to try to attract the person, money, job, or something that you desire, you may end up not receiving what you conceived. However, you never know until you try. We all know that we can sabotage ourselves with negative thinking. We have no idea what we can achieve by thinking positively and communicating that to others. We also have no idea how often we communicate subconsciously. Therefore, if nothing else, "The Secret" teaches us to efficiently focus our thoughts to achieve our goals and desires. It also teaches us to push out the negative thoughts that hog time in our brain focusing on what we don't want.

For me, that is the benefit. I have ADD; I am naturally unfocused and scattered. I also have a history of mild bi-polar depression. To top it all off, over the years I have developed cynicism and skepticism at levels above the recommended dosage. Therefore, if we could analyze my daily thoughts on a spreadsheet, you would see high percentages where I was focused on slow traffic, problems at work, and thinking about things that I do not want and how to avoid them. The percentage of time that I am thinking positively about my future would be about 1/4 the time that I spend thinking about what could go wrong and how to hedge my bets.

I wasn't aware of how negative my thinking truly is until I read "The Secret" and began to apply some of its principles. There is the other aspect to the book: that there is a natural force at work in the universe that responds to our thoughts and attracts to us the things we think about. That is where the book may veer off to the weird for some people. However, we can believe that the force is God, we can believe it is presently unexplainable (agnosticism), or we can believe that it is a heretofore undefined law of physics that helps explain gravity and quark movement. Ms. Byrne made the mistake of focusing on the Law of Attraction as if there aren't other forces at work. Therefore, this book is not a scientific text or a theological manifesto. It is great reading though, and provides a great method of visualizing the principle and applying it in various situations.

Both of these books mean the same thing to me: by changing my thoughts I will change my life. This is not new information for me. I have been through this many times on different levels. However, this time is more advanced learning. I am working on the finer details of thinking my way to happiness and prosperity.

You had mathematics in grade school. You had it again in High School, but it was more advanced: there was more information and a deeper understanding. Again, in college you were required to take some more math, and you ventured a little deeper into the subject. Then, your electives may have incorporated a finer understanding of some mathematical principles. With math, there is always a deeper level and a new application.

The same is true with your thoughts and thanks. I don't know if there is a limit to how deep you can go. I take that back, there is one limit I know of: yourself. If you decide that you have gone far enough, then that is all you're gonna get. However, if you remain open, there may never be a limit to how much you can achieve and receive from thankful thoughts and focusing on what you want.

"The Secret" has reminded me to "accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative." Deborah Norville's book on how science is proving the benefits of gratitude is the perfect compliment. I am finding the principles of both books jumbling in my mind. Seeking to think gratefully and communicate gratefully is profound. Sure, you've been doing it all your life. Or have you? That is an important aspect of your life to examine on a regular basis.

I think we all tend to reach moments of egotistical, ungrateful stagnation. Some people do not last long there, others build a homestead and refuse to budge. I know that as I examined my own life, I was shocked at how many opportunities I had missed to be grateful for and how rectifying that immediately and dramatically improved the quality of my life.

When I find my blood pressure rising and my fist clenching, I am now finding that switching my thoughts from frustration to gratitude for something feels good! I try to take a daily inventory now of what I have to be grateful for. I am trying to expand the list daily so that it isn't the same old stuff. From there, I try to focus on a few things that I want and communicate to the universe that I want them, I expect to receive them, and I am already thankful for receiving them. Now, all I have to do is get on with my life and look for opportunities to achieve my goals and express gratitude.

I sum up these two books by saying that the end result is: I feel good!

Explanation of Hiatus

There were many reasons for me to take a hiatus from blogging. When I boiled it all down, I was left with one main reason: I didn't want to suck.

Now, I never set out to achieve blogging greatness. This blog was created for personal expression, for writing development, for ego validation, and to add my 2 cents to the internet. I never intended to spend the time and effort to make this blog world-famous; my family and career are more important and carry more potential for my self-actualization goals.

However, I always intended to be read. I wanted people to read my blog and usually come away with new thoughts or knowledge. I did not want to bore people. It is hard not to blog your opinions without a little self-indulgence and borderline arrogance, but I never wanted to come off as a know-it-all. Worse still, I never wanted to be that guy who is so impressed with his own brilliance that he can no longer critically read himself or receive honest feedback from others.

Also, I realize that I write too many words--especially for a blog entry. A reader wants only a few paragraphs from a blog so that they can get on with their life, but that is a real challenge for me.Even in school: when an instructor says 5-7 pages and everyone else is wondering how they can write that many pages, I have trouble cutting ten pages down to seven.

I had many brilliant things to say about life, CSR, politics, etc. Or, so I thought. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had a lot more learning and thinking to do before I would become as smart as I think I am. I needed to refine my thoughts in order to achieve brevity and insightfulness simultaneously. I found that I could only prevent bad-blogging through abstinence.

So I spent a few weeks thinking, evaluating, and trying to achieve a reasonable humility. Humility for me is arrogance for others; it is a relative term and I set my own standard for humility at a more-inflated level than others might. Therefore, if you think to yourself that my attempt at humility has a long way to go, realize I have come pretty far down and I am trying to stay grounded.

I feel bad about not blogging regularly. I hate having gaps in my blog archive. I don't know why I feel that way, though. A gap means that I had nothing pressing to say and chose to remain silent. That is rare in this culture. Every channel on the TV is jammed pack with nothing to say; the best shows are rarely broadcast to maximize their advertising revenue while the drivel fills in the gaps that should just be static.

To sum up, this is Phase II of my blogging. I am now seeking brevity and insightfulness. If my blog entry cannot edify the reader quickly, then it needs to be refined rather than posted. I write to develop my thoughts and skill; however, there is no sense in writing if it is not readable by others. I write for myself, and I write for you to read. This blog is my gift to you, whomever you are. Thank you for taking the time to read me.

A Financial Blog

I found an interesting blog today that I will be keeping an eye on in the future. It is written by a financial planner/investment adviser who appears to have a conservative and down-to-earth outlook—we need more of these kinds of people in the financial arena. I am not recommending his advice at this point, I am just recommending his writing. He is an interesting writer who makes the reader think, stays to the point, and holds the reader’s interest. If nothing else, perhaps I could learn these writing secrets as I read his work.

Russell Bailyn says that “Buy, Hold and Forget” is the way to go in this volatile stock market of 4th quarter 2007 — good advice to avoid getting burned in market-timing as the market swings for little or no reason each day. More importantly, he makes a great point that gets overlooked by nay-saying negative-nancies: A weakened dollar is good for you if you are selling dollar-denominated products. For instance: if you are US Manufacturing, you are getting a boost now from a weaker dollar. If you are selling real-estate, you have more buyers from foreign markets (which is called FDI and is necessary for economic growth.) An increase in buyers helps to keep prices from dropping to unreasonable levels by rising the demand to meet supply.

I have more to say about supply, demand, naysayer’s, economic prognostication, and the like. Since my local college football team (KU), NFL Team (Chiefs), and fantasy football team are all letting me down, I am able to commit more brain cells to economics. Perhaps that is a good thing, but I sure like having bragging rights in football conversations.

I first found Russell’s article here: http://seekingalpha.com/article/55744-buy-and-hold-as-true-now-as-ever?source=yahoo

However, Russell’s blog is located here: http://www.russellbailyn.com/weblog/

Newton's Laws of Motion

There are times when I have to write, like breathing. Have you ever taken a deep breath and tried to hold it in? You can't do it forever; eventually your body forces you to exhale. I often feel like that as I write. I have no choice; I have thoughts that need to be exhaled.

Even if I am not writing anything paticularly profound and know I will be throwing it away or deleting it, I write it down anyway. Even if I know I should be doing something else, I write when I feel I have to. Sometimes I neglect work or skip meals in order to write. Sometimes I get out of a warm, comfy bed late at night because I have to write something down before I burst.

Several months ago, I felt that way on a daily basis; today, not so much. The feeling comes and goes in unpredictable cycles. Right now, I am just trying to keep my blog updated. By posting something, I prove that this page is not abandoned. I have a lot going on, so it is probably a blessing that I do not feel the urge to write.

Therefore, while I am holding my breath a little longer, I will post someone else's thoughts. Isaac Newton, inventor of The Calculus and the first to define the Law of Gravity, also did the world a huge favor by defining the Laws of Motion. You have seen this, I am sure, many times in your life. I post this because I found it written on a 3x5 card in my stack of notes from years ago.

I love the simplicity of these laws. As I struggle with corporate politics and oppression, the complexities of love and life, and the short-circuited frsutrations of a career in electronics, it is nice to see that there is something in this world that can be proven; that there is something that sticks to the laws defining it without exception:

Newton's Laws of Motion:

1. An object at rest will remain at rest unless actred upon by a net force.

2. The acceleration of an object is directly proportional to the net force acting upon it, and inversely proportional to the mass of the object.

3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

The Christmas Rant: What Happened to Honesty?

Sorry, I will get to the Carnegie/CSR posts soon. First, I need to cleanse myself with a little rant.

Bah! Humbug!

Christmas music? Christmas decorations? Children's toy commercials during boring documentaries? Come on, you filthy marketing whores! It isn't even Thanksgiving!

I am not really big on faith. If I had a gun to my head and had to choose a religion, I would choose Christianity. I like the principles, the ethics, the philosophy, the stories, and the traditions. I just don't see a lot of evidence for answered prayer, healings, and other miracles. I have seen too much as an insider of the horrible things that go on in some churches. Even so, I am not anti-Christian and wish I could have more faith.

Therefore, my disgust of American Christmas is not due to a black stain on my soul. In fact, quite the opposite. I believe that as I continue to cleanse my soul without relying on human institutions and rules, I have a healthier and more objective soul. I try to avoid righteous indignation, but it is hard where Christmas is concerned; I believe that if Jesus were here today we would lose his temper on all things "Christmas" like he did on the money-changers in the temple.

Some people think my Christmas-disgust is rooted in my childhood. No, I have fantastic memories of Christmas from my childhood. The odors of pine and nutmeg immediately bring up warm feelings of childish anticipation. My parents made a tremendous effort to make Christmas a great experience. We have photos to match my memories; Christmas was a time to lighten up and enjoy the moment in my house. I would love to relive any Christmas from my childhood.

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The problem for me lies in honesty. First of all, why are we telling kids all the myths about Santa Claus? If I walked up to a young Santa believer and told them that Santa wasn't real and that his parents had been eating the cookies all these years, I would be banished from society. I would be scorned like a child molester. Even my own children: it has not been an issue yet but I am sure that if I ever tell my kids that Santa is not real, I will have two Grandmas on my case with a long line of "don't-ruin-it-for-others" enforcers behind them.

We also like to say that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. That is highly unlikely. Let's assume that the bible is accurate, word-for-word. Can someone quote the Book, Chapter, and Verse that points to December 25th as the day Jesus was born? December 25th was chosen by the Roman Empire based on its proximity to the winter solstice and the festivities that converted-pagans had always held at that time. The powers-that-be realized that it would be easier to convert people by assimilating some of their favorite religious practices into the state religion.

We lie about "The spirit of the season." We imply that Christmas is about giving and sharing, about generosity and good-will towards man. On the contrary, Christmas in America in the 21st century is about shopping and meeting expectations. You give in order to receive, or to avoid being on the list of people who didn't give. You chuckle at the Santa and return his "Merry Christmas!", then cuss out the guy who took your shopping-mall parking-place.

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At the end of August this year, I was in a Target store looking for something for my yard. I went to the seasonal section where they had been keeping the lawn and garden stuff. I knew it was late in the season, and was hoping to find some stuff marked down. No, it was gone. The seasonal section was now orange and black, full of Halloween costumes and decorations.

I was thinking to myself that August seemed a bit early for Halloween sales. I ventured deeper into the seasonal section, hoping my bargains were hiding back in the corner. Instead, I found the last aisle to be red-and-green themed. Christmas decorations. In August. Good Grief.

I think it was the first week of November when I stumbled on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" on TV. I like that show. My son loves it; he made me read the book 500 times last year. It is a great story, and Boris Karloff delivered one of the best performances of anyone, anywhere, ever. Even so, we haven't had Thanksgiving Turkey yet. There is a lot more football to be played. Can we hold off on the Christmas Specials until the Catholics start lighting candles, please?

I like the principle in "The Grinch" of someone who, like me, hates Christmas but finds the spirit overwhelming. I wish that one day I could find myself losing my cynicism, join hands with all the who's in whoville, and carve the roast-beast with a sincere smile. I cannot do that, however, until we start being honest.

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Why do we need to decorate a tree? Sure, it looks nice. But why? Why do we need to risk our life on a ladder, staple our gloves to the awning, increase our carbon-footprint and electric bill, and light up the night? Why do we need to send a Christmas Card to a boss we don't like, or an Uncle who still calls you by an insulting nickname? Why do we have to buy knickknacks and useless crap that we can't afford and the receiver doesn't want or need? Why do we, as a nation, pin our economic health to one Friday in November? Why do you go shopping on that Friday; do you like crowded stores, rude salespeople, and dangerous parking lots?

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When I was a child, Christmas was special. It was short; my little mind found it too short, but that adds to its special feeling. Christmas did not come around till December, and it built up gradually. I wasn't expected to give as a child, but if I did it was a very meaningful experience. I didn't expect to get quantity, I just wanted one or two things and this was the time of year where I could dream bigger than usual. The rest of the year was about school, chores, and needs. This was a time for dreams, for pleasure, for family gatherings. Food during the year was about balance and nutrition; Christmas food was about presentation, flavor, and enjoyment. I didn't have to eat the vegetable, and there was always more cookies.

I want my children to enjoy Christmas, but society has changed. The foods are available all year round now. The emphasis in on marketing hype, not on tradition and spirit. You are not allowed to say Jesus in public places, and most people say, "Happy Holidays" to avoid another frivolous ACLU lawsuit. Santa is in every mall, all the time, from October through January. The commercials are brutal; my son already has a want list a mile long, and he only watches an hour or so of TV a day at the most. The average child in America watches at least4 hours of TV per day; what effect does that marketing have on them?

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We are now raising a generation where Christmas is not special; it is an event in slick marketing, over-hype, a season that drags on for months, and is all about what you did or did not give/receive. There is no room for, "It's the thought that counts". There is no thought given to financial limits because that is what your credit cards are for; Congress does it, the President does it, so why shouldn't you spend more than you earn? It's your duty as an American, even more so as a Christian. If I boycott Christmas this year, will that be a win for the terrorists?

I predict that on November 24th through 26th, the news will crammed full of stories about how Macy's, Wal-Mart, and Toy-R-Us are concerned because of lower than expected sales on Friday the 23rd. The implication is that if you don't get out there and waste your money on low-quality crap from China, your nation's economy will suffer.

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"What's my solution," you ask with a scoff? Keep it small. Think. Christmas becomes a lot of work if you allow it; sit back and enjoy it more. Just hang a wreath on your front door--maybe a tree and a few kid-created decorations in the living room. Get together with family, but set limits on gift-giving. In a perfect world, we would setup college-funds (and fund their health-insurance if necessary) for all the kids and put more money into them in December than we did into FisherPrice and BestBuy.

Go to work for a few hours in a soup kitchen, or visit a state-run nursing home, with the kids in-tow. Give them more opportunities to analyze the holiday, to feel good about giving, and to see that there are differences between needs and wants. After the volunteering, buy them one big present (with cash, not credit) and put the biggest smile you can on their face.

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Why is it that we are supposed to have faith in Santa and not in Jesus? Seriously, every movie for Christmas is about some guy (usually white and wealthy) who's life is made right the second he starts believing in Santa. However, when Christians claim the same thing happened to them when they first believed in Jesus, they are met with scorn, ridicule, condescension, and the threat of lawsuit or censure.

I don't really believe in either Santa or Jesus, but if I had a choice which side would I be on? Santa is all about being fat, unshaven, dressed like a clown, riding in an impossible sleigh, whipping exploited reindeer who have no talent for flying, and defying all laws of space, time, and physics to deliver presents to everyone on his "good list".

Allow me to take this side-track for a second: When is Santa going to post the rules for being on the "Good" list. My friend was allowed to stay up till midnight, but I had to be in bed by 9:00 PM or Santa was going to hear about it. Were we both on the same list despite our difference in bedtime standards? And even worse, if Santa has to track the moral performance of billions of kids, how do we know he is not making any errors? Does he publish the bad list somewhere to list your infractions? Is there an appeal process? Jesus gave us the bible to follow, and he claims to be omniscient and omnipotent, but Santa is only human. Who is keeping him honest? And, for my liberal readers, has anyone looked into the Elf-labor conditions? Do they have a pension, insurance, and profit sharing? Do they even have a choice of employment? Who is their representative?

My hang-up with Jesus is his inactivity. I simply do not see any evidence that he or any other spiritual force is at work in our world. However, assuming that Jesus is more of a classical Arminianist than most people think, isn't his character more desirable in our society? He sacrificed himself for people who neither asked for it, nor did many of them want him to. He helped the underdogs of his society. He defied authority when that authority was clearly wrong. He touched people who were often shunned. He fed hungry people, helped blind people to see (metaphorically and literally), and demonstrated a humble, peaceful approach to life. The worst that people can say about Jesus is that he might have been married with at least one child. Hardly likely based on the evidence presented, and hardly scandalous either. We need more leaders like Jesus who walk their talk even if they try to keep their family out of the limelight.

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Christmas past = short, special, sacred, unique, traditional, spiritual.

Christmas now = starts earlier every year, over-hyped, slick marketing, crowds, greed, competition, unrecognizable as a unique, spiritual holiday.

Santa = strange, magical, unbelievable, vague, totally unscientific and unspiritual.

Jesus = love, compassion, rebel for rightful causes, defender of the misfortunate, unscientific for spiritual reasons, a person to emulate.

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It seems to me we are heading in the wrong direction. Even worse, it seems that there is no way to return to "the good, old days". I fear we have allowed Christmas to be ruined, and that we are losing a great thing.

I wonder if that same thing was said when the winter holidays were changed from pagan to Roman Catholic. Perhaps our new gods will make the holidays something to fondly remember for future generations. Even if your heart is three sizes too small, like mine and the Grinch's, there is always hope that good will triumph over evil. In the meantime, I am going to find a way to make the best of this situation. Also, I am going to resist analyzing why Santa and Satan are spelled so similarly.

How to Win Customers and Influence Markets

There is a fantastic book that I re-read almost annually: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. The principles in this book will allow you to enjoy your life regardless of your circumstances and it will allow people around you to enjoy you more.

The trick is this: be sincere as you focus on other people's interests and ego. If you are selfless in identifying and referencing other people's interests and you stroke rather than threaten another's ego, you then have an opportunity to selfishly pursue your own interests with that person. Of course, you cannot be malicious or greedy with a person while remaining sincerely interested and humble, so Carnegie is not teaching techniques for bad people to gain influence.

I find that he is re-teaching me to be good. I learned most of this stuff in church and from my parents when I was little. Maybe not the specific techniques, but the underlying principle of humility, suppression of self-interest, politeness, and sincere interest in other people's interests. I rejected it in my teen years and continued to ignore the lessons as an adult because I was surrounded by selfish, greedy, cynical people who would throw their own mother under any moving bus to achieve a perceived benefit or promotion.

What Carnegie adds to the lesson of manners and morality is the selfish benefit to me. I had no idea that being polite and humble could benefit me directly. I thought I was just doing it to please my parents, the "authorities", and a God who seemed not to like me. I thought that if I did not counter the meaness of life with more meanness, I would get taken advantage of. If I had known that there were tremendous benefits to being a nice guy, I would have stuck with it a long time ago. As it is, being cantankerous and cynical while feeding off of negative energy was simply leading me down a lonely road of alcoholism, depression, and future ulcers, cancers, heart-attacks, and black-eyes.

We do everything for selfish reasons. We give to charity because we feel warm and fuzzy, because we hope to benefit from that charity in the future (Hospice, Cancer Society, Red Cross, Blood Bank), or because it puts our name on a placard, list, brick, or building. We sacrifice for our kids so that they do not end up in jail, living with us, embarrassing us, or to make sure they beat the neighbor's kids at whatever they do. We give our spouse backrubs and cook their dinner in hopes that they will soon do something nice for us (or do something nice to us.)

To sum up, Carnegie has taught me that it is okay to let the other person think that they have the upper hand or think that they are more important than me; in the end, I will get what I really want from the relationship. Being nice, humble, and sincerely interested in the other person pays off in selfish ways, and does so more effectively than deception or force. There are more benefits and less consequences to convincing people to willingly give you their favor, money, support, or permission than in forcing it from them or tricking them out of it.

However, I am not writing a book report here. I want to synthesize the information I read and reapply it in a new way. Dale Carnegie has written a manual for the application of a corporation's CSR philosophy. As I listened and thought about how I could improve my game with Carnegie's principles I kept thinking of how these principles could help a company gain market share, improve vendor relations, lower costs, increase employee loyalty and productivity, enhance the public image, and so many other applications.

Therefore, the next few posts will talk about how Dale Carnegie and CSR can make a company more profitable, stable, recognizable, and resilient to negative events and forces.

A Word, a Quote

Please allow me to provide some edification today by sharing a favorite, rarely used word and a favorite quote:

plen·i·po·ten·ti·ar·y [plen-uh-puh-ten-shee-er-ee, -shuh-ree]

–noun 1. a person, esp. a diplomatic agent, invested with full power or authority to transact business on behalf of another.

–adjective 2. invested with full power or authority, as a diplomatic agent.

3. conferring or bestowing full power, as a commission.

4. absolute or full, as power.

Thanks to: Dictionary.com

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"If I had my life to live over again, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time."

-Nadine Stair

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The Problem with Corporate Social Responsibility

The real topic of this post is my cynicism. I have the genetics of Eastern Europe cynicism coursing through my veins. As a life-long resident of the midwest, usually within a few hours of the "Show-me" state, I have been conditioned by my environment to be cynical. With all that I have seen, done, and failed to do, I cannot help but harbor at least some cynicism.

Cynics are natural skeptics. Our weakness is that we tend not to limit our skeptisism, believing that there is always one more reason not to believe that we haven't thought of yet. And that is the greatest threat to Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR). How do we test a company's sincerity when it comes to CSR?

I think we need to have some litmus test to seperate the talkers from the believers, but that too is risky. If we set standards for CSR, it is no longer a dynamic, creative, initiative. It is just another cost, regulation, or marketing gimmick. On the other hand, we need to win over a number of skeptics and have an answer for the interminably-skeptical cynic.

This morning I saw a commercial for Chevron, the oil company. If it is 100% true, then this is a company we should get behind and give them every advantage to succeed. Their commercial shows images of people's faces up close and of vast open blue waters giving me the sense that they really care about nature, the environment, and people. The voice-over talked about commuting and other things that hit close to home, telling me that they can relate to and are interested in improving my daily, trivial existence. They also mention the diverse energy initiatives that they are eagerly pursuing, to include clean, abundant alternative energy.

If I did not have a cynic in me, I would buy every share of Chevron I could afford, tapping out my cash, savings, 401k, and home equity. I would then begin a calculated campaign to get hired on at Chevron, even if only as a Janitor. I would devote every penny and every minute to the mission of Chevron: to profitably supply the world's energy needs while planning for the future and attempting to limit our environmental impact.

You notice I am on blogger.com rather than polishing my resume and emailing Chevron's HR department? Yeah, I am cynical. I just don't see an Oil company's board room being filled with a young, diverse group of idealists trying to think up ways to improve the global community while remaining profitable. I don't know this for sure, but my imagination is stuck on the image of a bunch of old, privileged people who have rarely (or never) had to pump their own gas, drive their own car, or buy their own groceries. The people who run Chevron, I think, are completely incapable of imagining a life that is only a few paychecks away from destitution. I see the board room looking a lot like the White House cabinet, with a few tokens for the "Diversity Initiative".

Sidenote: That is not a dig on Condoleeza Rice. Here is a black woman from the deep south raised in the 1950's and 1960's, and she has risen to the top on her own merit more than by quota. She is an accomplished Russian linguist, competitive ice-skater, concert-pianist, scholar, organizational leader, and football intellectual. She is an overachieving (the good kind), extraordinarily talented, energetic American who has given us her best effort at making this a better country. I doubt that she is given as much of a voice as she should be, and that had she been more free to think and her opinion more highly regarded, we would perhaps have had a better outcome over the last eight years.

Anyhow, Chevron would have to commit stock-market suicide to try at this point to end our dependence on oil. That is a profitable horse that they need to ride until it is dead if they want to have an overachieving (the bad kind over the long-term) stock price. The 1st second that one of the division Presidents tried to push a product that makes a cut into the carbon-fuel based market, he would be fired, black-listed, tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail. If that didn't happen in the 1st second, the 2nd second would see a class-action lawsuit against the CEO and Board for not protecting the company's bread-and-butter.

I believe in the potential of CSR to make Capitalism even greater than it is today. However, two obstacles remain: the people who view CSR as a marketing opportunity to trick naive people out of more of their money, and the cynics who will not give any idea a chance to live and develop. Both of them could be overcome with a litmus test that, I am afraid, would require us to peer into the human heart and discern its true intentions.

If we took a closer look at Chevron and measured the amount that they donated to charity or spent on environmental protection and clean-up compared to the amount that their competitors spent, would we be viewing a measure of sincerity? Not necessarily; however, we would have a competition, and competition is what makes Capitalism great.

What factor has the greatest effect on performance, in any human scenario? Competition. We spend as much time and money as we do on sports because of the competition, not the pretty grass or snazzy uniforms. We bet on sports to make the compeition even more compatitive and interesting. Competition makes people run faster, think more broadly and deeply, and generally try harder.

In Capitalism, monopolies are bad. Why? Because monopolies do not feature competition. The lack of competition means that you do not have to focus on price, customer-service, innovation, etcetera. The customer is going to buy from you no matter what, so what is the point in trying harder?

In a monopoly, you can go decades without seeing much in the way of value, technological advancement, or customer-focused efforts. That was the case with AT&T and the baby-Bell spinoffs until the 1980's and 1990's. 1984 brought about the rise of Sprint, MCI, and other long-distance players. Suddenly, AT&T had to compete and, low-and-behold, it was suddenly affordable and technically feasible to call long-distance and understand the person's voice on the other end. (Anyone remember the pin drop?) With the 1996 telecommunications act, there were suddenly competitor's on the local phone market. Now, all the Bells and Whistles such as caller-id and call-waiting that were once expensive or not offered to homes were bundled up, offered for free by some companies, or deeply-discounted from their original prices.

If we say that all companies have to donate 10% of their profits to a recognized charity, and that they have to hold so many meetings with local community organizations and NGO's to address their concerns, then we have created bureaucracy and regulation. That always ends up badly.

We cannot test the sincerity of their heart, but we can create CSR competitiveness by publicizing data that ranks companies according to their responsibility. I know this is being done, but it is watered down right now, and hard to find. I welcome the day that we hear quarterly about a firm's CSR merits or failures alongside their earnings, employment data, market share, and product development. I welcome the day when, by going to a firm's site, you can expect to have their CSR initiatives in letters and images as large as their products and services. I especially welcome the day when, as an investor, you can easily measure price-to-earnings and operating profit alongside their success at third-world medicine or inner-city education initiatives.

I have already admitted to be mathematically challeneged, but I do not think that is a handicap in the following opinion: if I were considering investing in two companies in the same industry, where one of those companies had a slight financial advantage and the other had a slight CSR advantage, I would choose the company with the CSR advantage. Financial advantages are temporary; they can change over time. Look at the U.S. auto industry over the last 20 years. Financial advantage does not necessarily mean that the company is doing the right thing to be profitable in the future, it simply means that it has it ducks in a row today. One new discovery, disaster, or recession can change all of that in a quarter or two.

I think that if a company has done a diligent job implementing a comprehensive Responsibility strategy that can be communicated clearly and demonstrates itself to be successful, then that is a better indicator that the company has sound leadership, youthful energy, enthusiastic and free brainstorming-to-implementation processes, and a long-term outlook focused on doing things right, rather than doing things cheap, quick, and easy.

I would like to start collecting links to sites and publications that rate a firm's CSR activity. As I find them, I will post them here. Won't you do the same? Please send me any links or lists of publications you have that rank a firm's CSR performance.

So, What is Next?

So, now I have checked off some huge "To-Do's"...What am I going to do with myself now? I am going to attend Graduate School. Why? Because it is there.

1. I am going to attend Graduate school because I believe that is who I am: I am that level of student. Some people coast by in school, hating every second and wanting to do the bare minimum. Over the last several years, I have beene the kind of student who absorbs as much of the material as possible, attempts to make connections and synergize information, create new ideas based on current understanding, and communicate my knowledge and opinions about the material in an organized, informative manner. Also, it usually means higher salary at some point in your career. Finally, it will expose me to people and ideas that I would not normally encounter, broadening my experience and deepening my understanding of the world around me.

2. I am continuing my study of the Russian language. This will help me later when I begin my International Graduate Studies. It will open new opportunities for me. It will broaden the experience of my kids because as I learn Russian, they learn some too. Most of all, there are many who say that bi-linguality increases a person's ability to consider ideas and find creative solutions due to the billions of additional circuits your brain has to wire for the additional languages. As an added bonus, aren't bi-lingual people more interesting? How cool would it be to sit on a crowded bus and converse with your son in a language that probably no one else around you understands?

3. I am going to be more charitable with my time and money. Especially with my time. I am looking for a great volunteer opportunity. I want to spend at least a few hours per month doing something that makes this world a better place. I have a lot of different skills and interests, and I want to make my time count, so I am moving slowly on this one. I want to find one charity that I believe so strongly in that I can not only focus extra cash and time on it, but I can tell oither people why they, too, should consider giving to the charity. Stay tuned, I will be announcing my choice soon.

My reason for charity is totally selfish. First of all, I am a karma junkie. I cannot send out enough good karma because I want as much good karma as possible coming back to me. Second, that warm, fuzzy feeling after doing something good is like crack. I plan on staying high as a kite on that warm, fuzzy feeling. (Queue the music: "Hooked on Feeling")Finally, aren't charitable people more interesting? If I meet someone new and tell them that I speak Russian and spend some Saturdays as a volunteer, I will be so interesting that I won't have to hear about their favorite TV show or their "gifted" grandson.

4. I will run a Marathon. I have wanted to for some time. I was signed up to run the Honolulu Marathon one year, but I was too hung over that morning to even get off the floor and put my shoes on. More on the Marathon later. Suffice it to say, I am heading off a mid-life crisis at the pass by establishing some accomplishments. Besides, aren't marathon runners more interesting? No, I guess their not, but they are respectable in a weird way. I want people to look at me like I'm crazy as I proudly trod past them in my black spandex pants and $200 shoes...in the snow...at 6 am.

I Did It

My life is not going perfectly. Like everyone else, I have the daily struggles and challenges: sicknesses, time demands, financial demands, traffic, worthless local sports teams, etcetera. However, it is all just white noise against the background of my smile. I can't stop being happy. I am satisfied. I am motivated. I am elevated.

I finished my degree; I can now say I am a college graduate. I say that to myself often. Finishing my degree gives me a piece of paper that proves I am at the level where I belong. Without my degree, I felt like an impostor, a commoner who snuck his way into a royal event and everyone knew he didn't belong there. For ten years, I looked forward to the day where I could say I had a degree. I know, it doesn't actually mean a lot to anyone unless I am on a job interview. Even so, it is important to me, and it has bolstered my confidence and self-image.

Another problem I have had with my self-image is not having a certification. In the IT industry/telecommunications industry, numerous companies offer a test that, once passed, certifies your skills in a specific area. In 2000, I was first introduced to the Cisco Certified Network Associate exam. My team sat through a one week course and then took the exam. We all failed; I came within a few point of passing and should have stayed with it. Most of the guys shrugged and went on with their life. A few continued to study and later passed it. I wanted to complete it, but I had life to contend with.

If you want something bad enough, you go for it. I had a pregnant wife, and I was facing my first thoughts of fatherhood in 2000. I also was working on my degree, and wanted that more. Looming over all of this was my alcoholism, which would make a strong showing in 2000. So, I say I wanted my CCNA but I admit I didn't want it bad enough.

Even with life throwing curve balls and all the changes I have experienced since 2000, I never shook off the desire for the CCNA. I studied for it on and off over the years, but there was always something else going on to distract me. I even took it again in 2005--they had updated the exam for new technologies and made it more challenging. Again, I missed it by a few points.

In 2003 I accepted a position with my current employer. Soon after that, the company began to encourage all Field Engineers to earn their CCNA. Two of my bosses earned their certificate. Several co-workers earned theirs. I studied on and off, but there was always something else to throw me off.

In September of this year, I was a free man. I had the college degree I had always wanted. I was now able to focus on my CCNA. I chose to take an accelerated course at the local community college to help me along. When it ended in mid-October, I was free to focus daily on my existing weaknesses. I could taste the certification; I was finally to a point where I could accept nothing less.

Of course, being free of alcohol was a big boost this time. Now that I am a seasoned father and husband, I had a better conception of balancing work, family, and study. Treating my ADD has been a tremendous boost.

However, the difference maker was my attitude. I wanted my CCNA, I knew I could pass the test, I knew how to get there, and I would not accept anything less. I was going to spend every penny I could earn or borrow and I would spend every second I could until that certification was mine.

You can either take one 65 question test that covers all of the material or two smaller tests that break it up. At first, I thought that the two exam option was the way to go. As I mentioned in my previous post, I passed the first of the two. The following Monday, I failed the second one (by only a few points, as always.)

Cisco will not allow you to take the same exam more than once in a five day period. I came so close and felt so good when I failed on Monday that I told people I "smelled blood in the water." Therefore, I decided to take a chance on the one big exam, rather than wait five days to take the second-half exam again. So the night that I failed, I went home and signed up online for a Tuesday morning exam of the one-test CCNA exam option. I studied that night some more, brushed up a little in the morning, and headed on to the exam location.

The large exam was hard, hard, hard. I knew I screwed one or two questions early on. The exam was so hard, I could never get that dominant, confident feeling that I had when I passed the first-half exam.

The exam is all on a computer, and it scores your exam immediately after you finish. You click "next" through all the questions and when you get to the last question, there are two clicks to get to the pass/fail screen. Those two clicks take forever (in my mind) and are one of those dramatic moments that slow your heart and make your clicking finger heavy.

As it turned out, I passed. I did well, in fact. All my negative feelings were for naught. I walked out of the testing site without touching the ground.

It is amazing how it changed me on the inside. I am now untouchable. I have gained confidence about my future. I know that no matter what else goes on, my career is onward and upward from here.

Moreover, I unexpectedly lost a dependency on my job that I didn't know I had. I have held the title of Engineer for six years now and have ten years in the industry, I have a decent list of skills and experiences, and I have a network of friends and colleagues that has helped me out in the past. I have been laid off three times and always landed on my feet with another great job.

I now realize that I had this underlying dependency on my current job. I had a feeling that I needed it, that without this job I would have a chasm in my life. I have always known that this is just a temporary stop, and that my goal is much higher and broader than where I am now, but there was this unexplainable dependency in me that was lifted last week.

I attained my CCNA on October 30th. Since then, I have a new feeling. I feel free. I can study anything I am curious about without feeling like I am being distracted from something more important. I can set new goals, and set them higher than before. Most of all, I can leave this job. I don't have any immediate plans, and there is not a compelling reason for me to leave. I just have this new feeling that I can if I want to.

Janis Joplin sang that freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. I wish she could have know the freedom that I feel now. It has nothing to do with losing. It is more like I have been climbing a mountain for a long time, and now I am at the summit, free to look around, rest, or set my sights on new mountains. Now that I know the feeling at the summit, I want to climb another mountain.

One Down, One To Go

On Sunday night, I did not study as much as I wanted to and did not get in bed as early as I wanted to because some guests stopped by. Normally this is not a big deal; however, I had scheduled myself to sit for a Cisco Certification test on Monday morning. So I was already off to a bad start.

I woke up Monday morning early and began some last minute studying. I felt great. Unfortunately, I turned on the wrong stove burner and began to melt a plastic salt shaker. When I tried to take the salt shaker off the burner, the bottom melted off and salt went everywhere.

So here I am vacuuming my kitchen at 6:15 a.m. on a Monday morning, two hours away from taking a major test (which costs $150 whether I pass or fail). And while I vacuumed, I did my best not to let this event affect my mood. My brain wanted to say that this was a bad omen, but I wouldn't hear it. I had to pass.

When I let the dogs out, I realized that it would be cold, gray, and rainy all day. Of course it would; why wouldn't it be my least favorite type of weather on such an important day, right? I almost started to believe that there was a divine conspiracy against me, but I am too rational for that. Ahem.

It is 7:30 am: The test starts in 1 hour, but I need to leave in 20 minutes. I am shaved, showered, cologned, creamed--this test is turning me into a metro-sexual this morning. My strategy is to look good and feel good. Therefore, I add a tie to my ensemble for Monday. Ties are rare on me, but today I want to feel professional and intelligent. Man, do I feel good. Nothing can stop me now.

It is 7:45 am and I am ready to go. I am dressed and looking great. I have my coat, my paperwork, my laptop bag, my wallet...I cannot find my keys. Now, this is something that has happened many times in my house: me looking for my car keys. However, it hasn't happened in a long time. Since I began treating my ADD, I have tended to lose items less often; I am more organized and efficient now.

Now it is 7:55 am. I should be driving through rain and traffic to get to my $150 test, but I have the whole family crawling around the house trying to figure out what stupid place I chose to lose my keys on. I am trying not to panic. I am trying not to snap at the ones whom I love. I am close to cursing God. I am on the verge of an stroke. I finally find my keys on my workbench in the garage. I sorta remember putting them there, but I can not remember why.

No, I'm not making this up. This all happened yesterday.

So now I am driving through rain and traffic in a hurry for my test; you know, the one that costs $150 and affects my career. I almost rear-end someone. Someone else is driving at 20 mph in a 35 mph zone....grrrr!

I get to the testing center, find the restroom, find the sign-in desk, and get seated at the testing computer. I am ready. My head is screwed on straight and all systems are "go". The first question (out of 42) is the most complex question I have ever faced. In one question, I have to chose several network elements, select proper cabling, deduce an addressing scheme based on known parameters, and then configure several devices based on what I know of the rest of the network. I need to do math, order my steps, try not to miss anything, and save my work on each device. Holy shnikes!

I know how to do everything in this question, but the math does not come easy for me and I have this nagging feeling that I am going to forget something. The test is timed, and I take a long time to answer this one. I am concerned that the rest of the test is going to be like this: harder than I was prepared for.

I finish number one and click next. The second question is a softball. I knock it over the fence and click next. Most of the test is a softball. There are two more complex questions that eat up time and heat up my brain, but most of the test is exactly what I was prepared for.

After I answer question # 42, I find that there isn't a "Next" button. There is only a button to "End Exam". I am surprised to be finished; I thought I was taking too long and here I am with 30 minutes left on the clock and I am done.

Clicking the "End Exam" button is the moment of truth; you find out immediately if you passed or not. I have been here twice before; both times I clicked the button and found out I missed the passing score my only a few points. This time, I have a Pavlovian-learned fear about clicking the button. Even so, I did my best and I feel good about my performance. I can't go back, so I click "End Exam".

I passed. I beat the odds, subverted the conspiracy, kept my wits, checked my negativity, and I passed. Damn it felt good.

That is one of two exams I need to pass for the CCNA designation. I will probably schedule the second exam for next Monday, unless something comes up. It just feels great to be halfway there, now.

Great Quote

I just ran across a great quote:

"My grandson recites the Gettysburg Address and he's only nine. Lincoln didn't say it until he was fifty."

-Al Okin

How about a word for the day?

Percipient: adj. An ability of, or knack for, keen perception; n. One who perceives readily.

The Post to End the Silence

I have been busy. My life is evolving. I am re-evaluating what is important. I am finding more time with the kids and myself, less time for work, blog, and yardwork. I am very happy; I am proud if this change. I am satisfied with the direction I am taking.

The blog is not going away at this time. I still see its usefulness to me as a journal to develop my thoughts with, a tool to track my thought-life over time, and a method of sharing myself with the world--whether they like it or not. I am not as inspired as of late to write about anything. I actually have three drafts that I have not published because I started with something to say but couldn't complete the thought concisely.

I would like to find a way to shorten my posts more. That will be a great benefit from this blog if it teaches me to write more concisely. I will work here on my communication skills; getting my point accross before the other person passes out or clicks onto the "Next Blog" button.

I wrapped up an 8-week class at the Community College, which occupied some time. I am hot and heavy to achieve my CCNA certification, so that occupies a lot of time. My daughter is beginning to discover how enriching books can be, and we are spending a lot of time together reading--that is the best part of my life right now. I also have a lot going on at work to keep me out of trouble. Altogether, life is busy but not to a stressful level. It is a near-perfect level of accomplishment, activity, and stimulation.

In November, I will sell my soul to the corporate devil and begin my MBA program at Baker University. I have already applied and been accepted, it is just a matter of when classes begin. I have put the M.A. of International Studies from KU on hold; for several reasons I determined that this was not the best time to pursue that option. The Baker MBA should be more useful in my immediate future and it will develop my Graduate-level study and research skills for future use. In addition, I think it will affect my family and current job less, which is very important at this point.

I hope to finish my CCNA certification by November. If not, I really need to finish it this year; I am very close to achieving it and it will reap immediate benefits at work. That certification has been on my "to-do" list for seven years, though I have often considered it more of a dream than a goal. Right now, it is a "must-have". If I can check off both the degree and the certification in one year, then 2008 is gonna be unimaginable.

An update on my Organizational Challenge with myself. My office at home and work are improved. My garage is functional. My basement is useful for workouts (and yes, I am using it sometimes.) My van remains highly organized, and trash remains only in the trash-can.

In other words, I have achieved a new standard. I have plenty of room for improvement, but I cannot believe that I used to be such a filthy pig. I am now very careful about my van. My desk at work and home has a tendency to get cluttered still, but that is temporary and I am still much better off now than I was 3 months ago. It is amazing what a little medicine and understanding can do to transform a life.

I am still thinking about Corporate Social Responsibility on a regular basis, and I plan on using this blog to talk more about it. I hope that I can apply my growing understanding of CSR to my MBA studies and perhaps find a way carve my own niche in this field.

Again, I do not know how to conclude here. I am determined to post something on this blog, even if the conclusion is a clunky, sudden halt. Therefore, here it is: the final period at the end of the sentence that concludes my blogging silence.

Unknown White Male

I just watched a fascinating documentary that I have to share. It is called "Unknown White Male". The story goes like this:

Early in the morning on July 2, 2003 some guy opened his eyes in a subway car and did not recognize the landscape passing him by. He had never seen this terrain before. That can be disturbing in any situation, but he had more to be disturbed about. He could not remember where he was going. Then he tried to think of where he was coming from, but couldn't retrieve that data either. Finally, he tried to figure out who he was, where he lived, and what he could do next. To his fear and bewilderment, he had no memory of his name, his life, his past, or anyone who could help him. All he had was his body, the clothes he was wearing, and a backpack.

If this was Hollywood, the contents of his backpack would have been a 9mm Beretta, a 3 carat diamond, and a stuffed animal. If it were my backpack, there would have been at least a wallet with IDs and a cell phone. His backpack had a set of keys, a vile of medicine, and a "Lonely Planet Latin America Spanish Phrasebook". This guy was a blank slate, and he had no idea how to proceed. He played it safe by finding a police station.

The police took him to a hospital. There was no explanation for his memory loss, and only one lead on his identity. Inside the book in his backpack was a name on a slip of paper. He called the person, but they weren't sure who he was and they could not come see him at the hospital because they were caring for an elderly parent.

At some point, he was asked by a nurse to sign a document. Without thinking, he scrawled out his signature. It was almost completely illegible, but it proved that there was still some piece of him left. It also told him that his first name started with a "D".

The person whom he called has a daughter. She told her daughter to check this out and see if it was someone she knew. The daughter called the hospital and after speaking with him for a minute told him his name was Doug, he lived a great life, and she would come get him in 30 minutes. And that is where Doug Bruce began a fascinating journey.

As it turns out, Doug lived in New York, in The Village in a large, nice apartment. He was in his thirties, apparently came from money, and had retired after making his own money as a stockbroker for several years in New York. Doug began to videotape his experience as he rediscovered his life all over again. As fortune would have it, he had a friend who made movies and wanted to make a project out of Doug's experience. The two of them together made a fantastic documentary.

The movie explores some basic existentialist, philosophical problems. When Sartre or Camus discuss Existentialism, they are speaking in theoretical or fictional terms. Doug Bruce examined existentialism, epistemology, and every other category of philosophy firsthand as he examined life itself and who the historical Doug Bruce was with a blank-slate mind. In the movie, they compare him to a newborn baby with a mature brain.

Doug re-experiences snow, fireworks, and the London "Changing of the Guard", all of which he had no recollection of. Early in his experience, as he began to question who he was and where he came from, he wondered about his family. He discovered he had a Father and two sisters who were very loving. Unfortunately, he also discovers that his mother passed on some time ago. He had already mourned his mother at the time, but with his memory loss he was forced to mourn his mother's passing again. Of course, now he was mourning someone he had not known. I guess he was mourning that inherent desire in all of us to have a loving mother.

He meets all of his old friends, a network that is large and spread across the globe. He sees old movies of himself. He examines his keepsakes and reads letters he wrote. Nothing jogs his memory, but it helps him develop a fascinating perspective on life.

Everyone who Doug meets expects him to act like the old Doug. Most of the people I know guide their lives by other people's expectations. Almost everyone I know has made major life decisions such as where they live, their occupation, their spouse, their religion, and their political affiliation based on the expectations of their parents, firends, co-workers, employers, and the prevailing zeitgeist.

However, he is approaching life with a blank state and treating it as an opportunity to discover the axiomatic truths of life. Over a year after his memory loss, Doug tells an old friend that he does not feel pressured to recover his old memories. It is apparent that he is comfortable knowing that the old Doug was successful and loved by many people; therefore, the new Doug can be successful and loved too. If anything, it seems that memory loss has propelled Doug closer to the pinnacle of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Without the burdens and pressures built up over thirty years of life, he is free to take his possessions, wealth, friends, and inherent skills to a point of self-actualization.

Doug was lucky in some ways. He did not have to worry about a spouse and offspring, which freed him to take an adventure rather than desperately recover and fit back into the old mold. He also had wealth, so he did not need to worry about how he would eat and pay for electricity and retire--that was all taken care of. He also did not have to come to terms with being an asshole in his former life, as Hollywood loves to portray in Amnesiac movies. He simply had to take life in, let life happen, and draw his own conclusions.

Was he still Doug Bruce? Could he be held responsible for the bad things he had done (if any)? Was he obligated to like the people whom he had been close with in the past? Would he still have the same interests and preferences?

To boil it all down, Doug is an experiment in how much of our character is chemical/genetic and how much is shaped by environment. His friends and family did not get to hold a funeral for the old Doug, but since his molecules were still walking the earth with his voice and features, they never had to experience total loss. Two of his friends mentioned how they were quickly forgetting the old Doug and getting used to the new one.

One interesting thing that bridged his two lives: He had left Wall Street to learn photography. He had two years of school under his belt prior to the memory loss. Now after the loss, he wished to continue his studies. Legally, he was the same person and therefore was entitled to claim his transcripts. However, even though he paid for, attended, and completed the courses in his transcript, he no longer retained most of that knowledge. Therefore, his school required him to either prove he had the skills of a third-year photography student or begin his studies again. Within two months, he was able to re-learn two years of skills and enter the third year of photography studies.

One of his professors discussed how Doug demonstrated that much of his knowledge is contained under the surface, somewhere. He also talked about how Doug was now a more serious student and a more profound artist behind the camera. I suspect that they could have filled 90 interesting minutes just with Doug's re-introduction to photography and his transcendence of his former abilities and passions.

I can't say that this movie will change my life. I am not sure any movie has. However, this movie did something that is rare among movies: It excited by brain and made me consider new thoughts. For me, that is often the best way to spend a couple of hours. Just the process of thought can be invigorating. If that process leads to a new conclusion or idea, then all the better. Sometimes, it is nice to belly-laugh and suspend rationality. However, a movie that makes you think can make you feel like you accomplished something while being entertained.

Here is a trailer to the film:

Corporate Social Responsibility? Never Heard of It.

I have been studying business in one form or another since I was a teenager. We received lessons on finance, economics, and market-based realities starting in junior high school from Junior Achivement. I also learned a lot from my business-minded father. I found business interesting and understandable.

That education never really ceased over the years, but it took on a new dimension in the summer of 1997 when I took my first college course, "Business Math". For the next ten years, I would be employed in the business world by successful companies, including two Fortune 500 companies. I would take required and voluntary training offered by those companies and read the emails sent out by managers. I would also attend four colleges that all cater to the business community. I would be exposed to an immeasurable amount of marketing messages through the TV, Radio, print, billboards, and Internet. I often read business headlines and news. I listen to books on tape, many of which are business-oriented. In other words, I am well-versed in popular business messages and ideas. Or, so I thought.

In the second to last class required to attain my Bachelor of Science in Business Management degree from Baker University, a well-respected school in the local business community, I had a paper to write. The class was "Multi-National Management" and the requirement of the paper was vague enough: almost anything having to do with managing a company with operations in several nations. I was interested in Russia at the time and knew that there would be many resources describing the sticky situation of doing business there amidst the infamous corruption, the remnant paradigms of communism, and the rampant xenophobia in Russia. Among other relevant articles, I found an article that argued for teaching the concepts of Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) to Russian managers. The authors briefly explained what CSR was, why Russians would likely be responsive to the message, and where the biggest opportunities would be in their society and economy.

This was the first time I had heard of CSR. The concepts show up all over the place in religion, ethics, morale stories, common sense, and business practices. However, I had never heard of this singular business concept that provided a framework and philosophy for social concerns, with data to prove the financial benefits of socially-responsible actions. I was floored; I was interested; I was born again.

Where was I during all that education, corporate training, and real-world experience? Was I sleeping through the CSR modules? Why was it that with over 120 credit hours in American business schools, plus twelve years of grammar and high school, I had never seen the three words "corporate", "social, "and "responsibility" put together in that order and context? After thousands of dollars, hours, books, papers, test, lectures, emails, phone calls, and conversations, I am just hearing about CSR now, from individual research, with only a two months to go before I graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Business Management?

The last class that Baker required for my degree, it turns out, was a class that included the topic of CSR. However, the course did not use CSR as the religion, philosophy, framework, or guiding principle within which to define business ethics and community response; CSR was simply a topic in a chapter. It was downplayed as another definition to learn. For the students in that class who had not had a religious experience when they learned of CSR, it become another term to throw around in conversation and look smart.

I will never be the same. The article about CSR that was one of several sources for a paper that barely matter in the grand scheme of things has become my gospel. It is the good news I have been searching for. It helped me re-merge my splitting personalities, one which hated the monstrous and evil corporate ideal and the other that waved the banner of capitalism and saw no other way to live.

This is a link to the article that introduced me to CSR and got me excited about the future of business and America. If the link ever breaks, you can look on Ebsco-Host, Lexis-Nexis, or other periodical database for the following article:

Professors David S. Harrison and Patsy G. Lewellyn: "Russian Management Training Programs: Do Corporate Responsibility Topics have a Place?" Management Accounting Quarterly, Summer 2004: pages 25-36. I found it at: ABI/INFORM Global (PROQUEST) via Collins Library on 09 June 2007.

CSR? Why?

There is no doubt that capitalism has an ugly side and corporations can do great harm to communities and individuals. That always gnawed at me. I was raised on Christian ideals of charity, generosity, and the benefits of providing for needy people. I was also raised in the cold war and knew the evils of socialism and restricted markets. That is the source of my split personality.

The article that introduced me to CSR explained how Russians who were raised with communist paradigms could come to terms with capitalist principles by learning about CSR. This would allow them to seek profits while keeping the community in mind. In fact, it can be shown that including your stakeholders (employees, vendors, communities, governments, and special interests as well as your customers and shareholders) in your decisions can often make you more profitable, reduce your costs, improve your marketing efforts, and prevent many costly liabilities. According to the authors, who are American professors with extensive experience among Russian companies, this is a message that many Russians are waiting for. It is a message I had been waiting for as well.

Is it possible to be a company that really cares about people and remains profitable? Is it possible to insist that your employees, vendors, and customers all embrace certain ethical and environmental standards without losing your competitive edge? Is it possible to gain a competitive edge by being a good employer, a community partner, and leaving a soft footprint on the planet? CSR says yes.

If more companies said yes to the principles of CSR, we would have cleaner air and water, we would have more people gainfully employed and less cut loose after years of loyalty, we would have more employees who loved and were loyal to their company, and we would have safer products. The benefits of CSR-embracing companies never end.

Best of all, we would have an answer to America-haters. People once looked up to America and spoke of us in respectful awe because our freedom and prosperity was so rare. As democracy and globalization spread, people began to see America as a greedy, oppressive profiteer. I don't think that the military actions of Truman, Kennedy, Reagan, Clinton, and the Bushes are to blame for most of the ill-will towards America. I do not think the CIA is to blame. I think that the actions of so many corporations headquartered in America, sending American managers to foreign cultures to produce at low-cost and high-productivity and then send all of the wealth back to America is the cause for 99% of the ill-will aimed at us today.

If my generation, known as X, were to begin exporting socially-responsible policies among the multi-national corporations that we are gaining control of from the baby-boomers, then Generation Y (my kids) would get to know America as the baby-boomers did: the prosperous and high-minded nation that makes the planet better for everyone.

The authors of this article, Professors David S. Harrison and Patsy G. Lewellyn, spoke of how Russians lost that sense of purpose and working for the good of the community that they had under communism, a void that could be filled by the principles of CSR. I think that we, the western half of the Cold War, lost something too when communism fell.

America stood for democracy; we were the beacon of freedom. Now that freedom and capitalism is almost commonplace around the world, what do we stand for? Are you satisfied to be the leader against Islamic-fundamentalist terrorism (the so-called Global War on Terrorism)? Somehow, that isn't as sexy as opposing communism. What will we stand for once we have evidence of bin Laden's demise and the terrorist networks are rendered ineffective? What if the whole Muslim world decided as one to liberalize tomorrow? What would America stand for if we didn't have Terrorism to oppose?

Do we need to stand for anything? I say yes. If we are the leader, then we have more control over our destiny. Do we want to be Mexico or Canada and have people snicker when we assert ourselves? If we do not lead, then we will lose ground in the global market and will attract much less Foreign Direct Investment--in other words, there will be less money in America to go around. Are you willing to make do with less? How much less?

My vision for America is that we stand for being socially responsible and profitable. As Generation X retires and Generation Y takes the helm, let America be looked up to for her prosperity and her benevolence. I hope that 30 years from today, as I may be retired or close to it, that America will not be known as a has-been but as a must-be.

Our schools are not preparing our kids to compete with Asia and Central Europe. Our companies are losing their dominance. America is losing its bragging right as the most benevolent, free, and prosperous nation. The environment has certainly been affected by the actions of humans and may jeopardize our future health and happiness.

Maintaining the status quo is not an option. We need a change. I vote for free markets dominated by socially-responsible corporations. Do you have a better idea?

$1 million sent to Iraq

The federal fiscal year ended on September 30th, Fiscal year 2008 (FY2008)started on October 1st. As they tallied the books for FY2007, a unit in the Marine Corps ended their year with a $1 million surplus. That is news by itself; I am sure you have heard it said of organizational budgets, "Use it or lose it." The unit's bean-counters probably knew several months ago that they would end up with approximately $1 million unspent. Therefore, we can assume that this was a planned event and that the General in command here is a risk-taker.

Lieutenant General Richard Zilmer, Commanding General, Third Marine Expeditionary Force (III MEF)

To provide some context for you: The III MEF is a large unit. It is an infantry division, an Air Wing, and a logistical support group (supply, food, medical, communications, transportation, etcetera.) That equates to tens of thousands of people. When I was a fire team leader in a Marine rifle squad, responsible for four Marines, the Commanding General of III MEF was eight levels of bureaucracy above me.

When I read about how the III MEF is relinquishing $1 million of their budget to provide for the safety of Marines in Iraq, I got a warm, fuzzy feeling at first. Believe me, the III MEF could have spent that money in Okinawa at headquarters in the blink of an eye. There is never enough money to go around in a Marine Unit; many units have to trim their training schedule due to lack of funds. When you have thousands and thousands of Marines, aircraft, buildings, acres, vehicles, and assorted other military possessions, a $1 million can get spent in a heartbeat. Moreover, the budgetary powers that be may view this move as a signal that they can send III MEF $1 million dollars less in FY2008 since they didn't need it in FY2007.

The warm, fuzzy feeling did not last long. I got pissed, quickly. It is calendar year 2007. We entered Iraq on March 20, 2003. We still do not have enough protective equipment in Iraq? We are still begging for vehicles that are less susceptible to Improvised Explosive Devices (IED's)? Marines in Iraq have to rely on the charity of other Marine Units in order to be safe and effective?

I do not agree with the sentiment that BushCheneyPowellRumsfeldRice should have anticipated the insurgency. It should not have caught them by complete surprise, but I can understand if they did not send thousands of Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles on the first wave to Iraq. Even so, it should not have taken long for them to realize the value these vehicles would provide.

When did the insurgency start? At what point should we have realized that IED's detonated during convoy would be the greatest threat our military would face in Iraq? I will bet both of those events occurred in FY2003, prior to October 2003. In FY2008, we should be wondering how we are going to get the hundreds of un-needed MRAP's out of Iraq because we sent too many.

I re-read the article again. I noticed a few more words, clarifying the situation. The $1 million is not going to purchase the MRAP's, it is going to fund the transportation of the vehicles from the manufacturer to Iraq. The way I interpret this sentence, the vehicles were not going to get to Iraq as quickly before the $1 million; the III MEF has simply sped up the delivery of the vehicle's.

According to the CIA's World Factbook, the United States spent $2.66 trillion in 2006. I am sure we spent more than that in 2007, if I know my President. God only knows how much we will spend in 2008, regardless of our revenue (we will spend hundreds of billions of dollars more than we receive--don't try this at home.) We have thousands of our finest men and women dying in vehicles unnecessarily, thousands more lose eyes, arms, legs, functions, and capacities; a better vehicle design will preserve lives, limbs, and potential.

WE ROUTINELY RUN BUDGET DEFICITS, WE WRITE BUDGETS IN THE TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS. WE CANNOT FIND $1 MILLION DOLLARS TO SPEED THE DELIVERY OF VEHICLES THAT SHOULD HAVE ARRIVED FOUR YEARS AGO? WHO IS RUNNING THIS CIRCUS?

I think that General Zilmer is sending a message. A unit giving up $1 million dollars is rare; I would venture to say it almost never happens. You don't make 3 stars by being a generous altruist. It takes a savvy political mind, ruthless strategy, and a warrior's spirit. Therefore, his decision is so far out of the ordinary that it will require people to take notice. The message I think he is sending is that if no one else will do the right thing, he will risk his budget and career to do the right thing. I hope that message received in the Pentagon shames them into spending more on safety and less whatever they are wasting our money on this week.

The U.S. Defense Budget was $439.3 billion for FY2007. That does not include money earmarked specifically for the Global War on Terrorism, which was $67.9 billion in FY2006. Therefore, III MEF's $1 million is just a drop in the bucket; that moeny could have come from anywhere with little effect on the big picture. The cost of the MRAP's, especially if you spread it out over four years, is just a few drops in the bucket.

Were the MRAP's too expensive when compared with a tin-foil Humvee. What does it cost when a Humvee is blown by an IED, versus the cost if an MRAP suffers a similar fate? Is it really cheaper to just operate unarmored or after-market modified Humvees?

Obviously, the Humvee contained people. Try to calculate, in dollars, what our nation lost when those people encountered an IED. For the ones who die, we lost the investment we made in their training and education. We also lost the tax revenue they would have generated over a lifetime. You need to factor in tranportation and burial costs, plus payment of benefits to survivors. We won't even try to calculate the potential loss of their talents, ideas, and what their offspring might have accomplished.

For the ones who survive, we need to calculate the cost of their rescue (medevacs are expensive), medical treatment over years, the cost of their VA entitlement, the cost of their lost productivity during recovery and after, and any lost tax revenue we may expect from their new handicap.

Why wouldn't we have Iraq over-run with MRAP's right now? I can only assume it has something to do with money. I guarantee that if you made any conservative estimate on the figures above, you could justify the cost of MRAP's easily. Many city budget have included various armored vehicles which will probably (hopefully) never receive a scratch and only see action in training and parades. Why can't we do the right thing in Iraq? Why do Marine units in Okinawa have to send money to expedite equipment for Iraq that should have been delivered four years ago?

One more set of questions, in case you still think that our military and political leaders are doing a great job. Are the Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicles a new technology? Were the IED's a new technology when we first encountered them in Iraq? No, this is a threat that America has been prepared to deal with since World War I, and the technology of protecting troops has not advanced all that much over the years. You have newer allows of steel, but they existed in 2003 when the first IED blew up. You have newer research to calculate the ratios of space, armor, and angle, but we could have done well with the data available in 2003.

Iraq is a safer piece of real-estate in 2007, just as the MRAP's get "expedited" there. These MRAP's will get someone promoted, and maybe the administration will convince some people that this late gesture was, in fact, a great step in securing Iraq's future. I think that is a slap in the face to every spouse, child, and parent of a military hero who lost limbs or lives to IED's in unprotected Humvee's. The arrival of MRAP's in Iraq in 2003 would have meant that we lost much less than the thousands of Americans who died in a vehicle from IEDs. MRAP's in 2003 would also have rendered IEDs almost ineffectual; the insurgents would have had to employ a different tactic. If we had MRAP's as the primary mode of transportation in Iraq in 2004, we would be talking about the war in Iraq in the past-tense. It would be all over now, and we would have Iran cowering at the thought that they were next.

The article that got me all riled up:

III MEF returns $1 million to fund Marines in Iraq

Oct. 5, 2007; Submitted on: 10/05/2007 12:30:34 AM ; Story ID#: 200710503034

By Lance Cpl. David Rogers, MCB Camp Butler

CAMP FOSTER, OKINAWA, Japan (Oct. 5, 2007) -- When III Marine Expeditionary Force ended up with an unexpected budget surplus at the end of fiscal 2007, MEF leaders quickly found a great way to spend it: invest it in the safety of Marines in Iraq.

III MEF returned $1 million in operations and maintenance funding to Headquarters Marine Corps recently to help fund transportation costs to expedite the shipment of new Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicles to Iraq.

The MRAP vehicles are built with a special V-shaped hull and raised chassis to provide improved protection from mines and improvised explosive devices, according to Marine Corps Systems Command.

“Getting armored vehicles to Iraq is an urgent requirement that’s got to happen,” said Col. Kevin King, the III MEF comptroller. “This is a bill the Marine Corps must pay, and that trumps plasma screens and other less-essential items. We also had our Regional Contracting Office operating essentially at capacity with existing contract requests without dropping another million dollars on them at the 11th hour.”

III MEF received $4.6 million in late fiscal year 2007 as reimbursement for money spent on Joint Chiefs of Staff and Pacific Command-directed exercises.

“We weighed several options, but it came down to executing against an identified Global War on Terrorism bill vs. identifying new requirements and quite possibly being unable to obligate those funds, certainly not on anything as important as the MRAPs. This issue was discussed with the MEF CG and Chief of Staff and the guidance was that it made sense to give up the funds for a higher priority,” King said.

U.S. Sen. Joseph Biden, Jr., spoke about the importance of getting the MRAP vehicles to Iraq during a congressional proceeding March 28 in Washington D.C.

“That statement that these MRAPs provide four to five times more protection than up-armored Humvees is not my estimate,” Biden said. “That is the judgment of our military leaders.”

Biden added that Gen. James Conway, Commandant of the Marine Corps, wrote a message March 1 to Gen. Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the time, discussing his requirements to have MRAP vehicles in Iraq.

“Multi-National Forces – West estimates that the use of the MRAP could reduce the casualties in vehicles due to (improvised explosive device) attacks by as much as 80 percent,” he said.

III MEF is scheduled to receive five of the MRAP vehicles for training purposes in the near future.

http://usmc.mil/marinelink/mcn2000.nsf/main5/377C5192A08EF2968525736B0018C591?opendocument

3/3 In Iraq: October 2007

Below is the message from LtCol Nastase, the Commanding Officer of 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marines. Again, Nastase nails a great message that demonstrates progress, hope, and high morale among our nation's finest. These words need to be read by every American, to counter the negativity that we are bombarded with.

When I listen to Bush, I get the feeling that his perspective changes on a weekly basis, depending on who has been to his office the most often. When I listen to the news or read the headlines, I get the feeling that all is lost and America would be wise to tuck tail and run like hell out of Iraq. I feel like Nastase has given us a more balanced view. It is optimistic and upbeat by design, but I also think it is informative and realistic. The message below is not a PR job, it is a well-written message from a Commander to his extended family. I think his words provide a balanced message that admits to hard times and plenty of work to be done, but also describes progress, improvements, and a building momentum among the grass roots in Iraq to live peacefully.

3rd Battalion, 3rd Marines

From the Battalion Commander

1 October 2007

Hello to Friends and Families of “America’s Battalion”,

We’re approaching two months into the deployment and I want bring you up to speed on what's happening. I am well aware that a lot of Americans are now throwing "Al Anbar" around in casual conversation like it’s a new sitcom. We have certainly had our share of attention of late. I guess it’s because everyone is beginning to see the progress that is being made out here. I'll tell you (from someone who has more than a few trips to Al Anbar under his belt), that things are better than I could have ever imagined. Let me try to put what your Marines and Sailors are doing into perspective because a lot has changed over the years.

What's changed? Mostly Iraqi attitude. And the surge has helped.

Attitude. The people out here have simply decided "enough's enough". They've had it with Al Qaeda in Iraq’s (AQI’s) brutality on fellow Iraqis. I'm not exaggerating when I say AQI has literally been terrorizing Iraqis for too long. Most every Iraqi I talk to these days has had someone, sometimes many members of their families killed or kidnapped by AQI. So we are riding the wave of the "awakening" started by Sunni tribal leaders over the last year or so (with no small amount of work by the Marines). This more than anything has changed everything. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" kind of thing. The realists among them, I think, foresaw the stark difference between a Taliban-like future dominated by AQI versus one of potential prosperity with the help of the Americans. And they’ve turned toward becoming part of the solution.

The manifestations of this in our area really just sprung up in the last 3-4 months and we have worked to expand it. But AQI wasn't giving up without a fight. The Area of Operations (AO) we assumed was only partly "pacified"--with the Sheikhs standing up and their men volunteering to secure their own neighborhoods and joining the police and army. We also inherited areas that remained AQI sanctuary, from where they continued to attack and tried to roll back the clock. What we have essentially done in this first month and a half was clear out those areas, hold them, and allow the fledgling (yet eager) volunteers and Iraqi Security Forces (ISF) to step up. Which brings me to the surge.

Surge. While Baghdad got all the early press, we had a Marine surge in Al Anbar as well. This has allowed us to finally stay in those areas we cleared, and in so doing, give confidence to the fence sitters that we would not leave them hanging as events in the past years forced us to do. Ironically, the "new" strategy is not new for us. What General Petreaus has advocated in Baghdad--get out and protect the populous--is exactly what the Marines did when we first came to Al Anbar in 2004 ("No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" was and remains the motto). Unfortunately, what started out well back then, soon was overcome by events such as Fallujah I, Fallujah II, and the Samarra Mosque bombing which required us to move forces from cleared areas to address these hotspots. In those early years we didn't have the ISF to maintain security in great enough numbers. The areas we left became sanctuary and killing fields for AQI and eventually we had to go back in and clear again. The extra forces we've had over the last nine months, combined with the awakening of the Sunni tribes, has allowed us to clear, hold, and build. The build is truly key because with the improved security situation, we can now put resources (ie. Money) against the basic needs of the people so that they can actually see tangible results. This gives them incentive to keep standing up and remain a part of the security solution. It has also provided a security and economic umbrella under which the ISF have been able to further grow and mature. In addition, it has led to a resurgence of local governance to manage the daily processes of life here. Still strongly organized around the tribes, we are leveraging that historic organizational framework to forge government institutions you'd be more familiar with (mayors, city councils, etc).

While the enemy continues to try and test us, it has largely been ineffective. But I continually remind the Battalion not to get complacent—there is still some fight left in our foe, although thankfully, it is a fraction of what it was only months ago, and certainly nothing like what we experienced in the last three years. Even the youngest Marines in the Battalion walk this fine line between being ready for anything and treating the Iraqi people with respect everyday. I am very proud of their ability to grasp the fundamentals of counter-insurgency--no easy task despite how much we trained for it. We spend a lot of time patrolling the towns, villages, and farms--a lot of it on foot, up close and personal. The heat is oppressive still (we have yet to have a daytime temp below 100)! But we've had very little problem adapting due to good leadership and planning at the lowest levels. I am repeatedly impressed with the maturity and attitude of our Marines and Sailors. I've watched them enter countless Iraqi homes, collect information, ask about their needs, hand out sweets and school supplies, and treat people with respect. The response from the locals is overwhelmingly positive...they are so thankful that it is us knocking and not AQI. The true sign that we are winning is the kids. I have been all over this area in past tours and rarely saw a kid outside, and even more rarely had any adult male do so much as glare back at me. Now everyone waves, barefoot kids line every street and road when they see us approach--clapping, giving thumbs up and dancing. Even young girls in their flowered dresses are out. Boys (and men too) can often be seen swimming in the canals in the afternoon. I've been invited to more meals than I could ever accept...even from the poorest of the poor. Marine patrols are routinely served tea in Iraqi homes.

Despite the positive atmospherics, it remains sad to see how poor a lot of these families are. Open sewage, mud floors, and limited electricity are still common. It is a very basic existence for most. But life goes on...”In sh'allah”...it is God’s will...as they say.

But for the first time, many Iraqis have told me they finally have hope for a better future. No one expects even a fraction of what you and I enjoy in America. But they see some light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess that's what counts.

Our Marines and Sailors, and especially our leaders spend an inordinate amount of time doing "engagement". That is, meeting, greeting, and sometimes eating with our local tribal, government, and security counter parts. It is harder work than it sounds and there is always heavy security in support. There is much talk, plenty of drama, but always with the best Arab hospitality. It is time consuming but it is really the only way to build the kind of relationships with the people we need to build to be successful. Trying to figure out who's who and what their agendas are, while shaping things appropriately for the future, is the biggest challenge we face. Marines are still doing Marine things, but embedded in each infantry mission (to include the hundreds of squad level patrols) is economics, governance, human relations, city management, agriculture, essential services, census operations, police work, etc, etc. We’re relying some on the counter-insurgency training we've done, but mostly on the fundamental knack Marines and Sailors seem to have for seeing every challenge as a problem to be solved. They thrive on cracking the case, seeing behind the curtain, and winning. It's too early to say how this will all turn out in the end. But, for now, it is promising and we'll keep moving the ball down the field as best we can.

We’ve had to send a few folks home for some unfortunate non-battle injuries. Our thoughts and prayers are with those Marines and their families for speedy recoveries. We’ve also celebrated more than a few new baby arrivals—congratulations to all! And by all accounts, all of you back home continue with your unending support which is immensely appreciated. Take care of each other and we will do the same. Thanks for all that you do for us.

Semper Fidelis,

LtCol Nastase

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Last updated 2 October 2007

Another Funny Sign

In Hanauma Bay, Hawaii there is a path that leads to a lesser known Hawaiian attraction known as "blow-hole". Here, the waves come in to the rocky shore and force water into a hole in the rock. When the tide is coming in, the rock resembles a whale's blow-hole.

Further down this path there is a depression in the rocks that is the size of a hot tub. You can sit in this spot as it fills and drains with water. This is cool for kids and old people. The stuff for 20 year-old Marines full of testosterone and addicted to adrenaline is just a few feet to the right.

I cannot remember what this spot was called, but I still shiver when I think about it. It is a tunnel through the rock about 3 feet wide and about 20 feet long. It leads to the hot tub. When the hot tub fills up, the hole fills up. If you timed it right, you could enter the tunnel head-first as it began to drain again; the power of the ocean would pull you through the tunnel and into the hot tub. It took a matter of seconds to travel the tunnel, but it really had an affect on your adrenal system.

Now if you are really brave, you can try to enter the tunnel from the hot tub. The timing is trickier, the angle is more difficult, and you have to do more steering, but the payoff is worth it. It felt like an accomplishment, especially since there were those of us who would swim it backwards and those who wouldn't. We, the initiated, were made of better stuff I guess.

There were several times that I got too anxious and didn't time my push with the tide. When this happened, I stalled in the tunnel for a second and then began to be pushed back the way I came. Luckily, I had the lung capacity to wait it out and the mental capacity not to panic.

When the tide was weak, you could swim either way through the tunnel without resistance or assistance from the ocean. One time, I traveled halfway down the tunnel from the hot tub and bumped into someone coming from the hole. I was able to back up and pull her out, and we both had a nervous laugh. I shudder to think about how that could have turned out.

Kansas is a good place to live and raise a family, but I often miss Hawaii. There were holes to swim through, cliffs to jump from, sunsets that invented new shades of red and purple, rainbows on a regular basis, mountains, sweet air, and Mother Ocean. In Hawaii, I felt alive on another level.

Anyhow, on that path to blow-hole, the hot-tub, the tunnel, and oblivion, there was a sign. I like signs that are unusual. This one made me laugh every time, so I finally snapped a picture: